About three years ago, my sister and I were driving home from the mall. It was mid-December and we had just made the 45-minute trip out so we could finish our Christmas shopping. We were about half way home and I was talking to her about our coming exams and about Christmas while she drove. I remember we had left a movie in theDvd player in our car and I could barely hear Emporer Kuzco whining in the background. It was about 9 pm and the Christmas traffic was just subsiding enough that we could be going about 60 mph (96 kph). I was blabbering on when I realized it had started snowing. It was a light snow at first, but it suddenly turned thick. We were all the way in the right lane smooshed between the shoulder and a semi-truck. In front of us was a red pickup and behind us was another semi. Suddenly, the pickup began to slide. I remember peering above the dashboard and seeing the back end of the truck just barely missing the front of our car. He spun out onto the shoulder and my sister swerved into it as well before coming to a soft stop. We were catching our breath when I realized that if the truck had hit us, we would have come to screeching halt only to be decimated by the semi that was going 60 behind us. Out of a stroke of luck, my sister and I avoided serious injury or more likely, death.
The irony of this near-death experience is that I’m not really even supposed to be alive anyway. I was a science baby meaning I was born by insemination because my parents couldn’t get pregnant. The day I was born, I came out backward and got stuck. I almost suffocated and died. Two months later, I spent a week in the emergency room because my body refused to remain hydrated and they had to acclimate my body to water in some way. I don’t ask a lot of details on that one. It freaks me out pretty good.
It’s pretty prideful of me to think of myself as some sort of miracle baby, but I do it anyway. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about my own mortality a lot again today especially since today’s task was to write your own eulogy. This already cheerless activity just augments my sad and creepy mind. I’ve stated my love of everything horror many times on here and I just want use my knowledge to give an example of what I mean. My sister had a friend at our house about a year ago who is just one of the sweetest people to walk the earth. During her stay, I watched my favorite Final Destination movie (#2) because it has some of the raddest death scenes of any horror movie (in my humble opinion). This girl walked in and sat down and started watching the movie. She was pretty horrified by it. We began to talk about the premise of the film series a little and I brought up my favorite deaths. She exclaimed that it was quite horrid that I would ever have a “top deaths in a film” list. I wanted to explain myself, but I couldn’t even begin to describe my motives behind doing such a thing without sounding completely insane. I hadn’t thought there was anything wrong with having a list because it is so commonplace in the horror community. Just look up WatchMojo and you’ll find a playlist dedicated to just horror movie top tens and a good number of those have to do with the deaths. It wasn’t until I took actual time to think that it stopped making sense.
I said earlier that I often picture myself as some sort of miracle baby, but it’s a miracle that anyone survives on a day-to-day basis. Final Destination is a great reminder that ANYTHING can kill you. Just one mistake and you’re done. And you would have no idea you even set your death in motion until it happened. If I hadn’t boarded that plane, if I hadn’t eaten that burrito, if I had left the house one minute later. Life is full of what-ifs that could result in our untimely demise. But the really amazing thing is that we are still alive. I remember a gym teacher at a nearby school was just jogging across the gym when his heart just stopped beating and he fell over dead. The autopsy revealed nothing. No one knows what happened, but he died. You and I are still alive right now and that is something to truly celebrate. Out of everything in daily life that could end us, we are still here. I am personally very happy to be able to sit here and type out this post for no reason because I still can do it. The coolest thing may be that after all this morbid thought, I’m still going to live my life like normal. People are amazing because we recognize the danger that life regularly sends our way but we don’t let it stop us from being who we are. I love people. All in all, I may not have written my eulogy (I want an elegy anyway), but at least I feel like I’ve done some quality thinking today. Sorry for being so totally morbid.
A little more conscious of my mortality,
Grim Reaper – https://www.pinterest.com/pin/178173728977335222/
Goths – http://emgn.com/entertainment/16-weird-christmas-photos-even-confuse-santa/
Final Destination (I know it’s the poster for #1 and not #2 but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want) – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Destination_(film)
Burrito – https://giphy.com/search/everything-burrito